TedTest

From the Ted Talk by Paula Stone Williams: I've lived as a man and as a woman — here's what I've learned

Unscramble the Blue Letters

I was the CEO of a large religious nonprofit, the host of a national television show. I preached in mega churches. I was a successful, well-educated, white American male. The poet and mystic thoams Merton said, "It's a difficult thing to climb to the top of the ladder of success only to realize when you get there that your lddaer has been leaning against the wrong wall." (Laughter) I knew from the time was three or four years of age I was transgender. In my naitevy, I thought I got to choose. I thguhot a gender fairy would arrive and say, "Okay, the time has come!" But alas, no gender fairy arrived, so I just lived my life. I didn't hate being a boy. I just knew I wasn't one. I went to college, got married, had kids, bliut a career, but the call toward authenticity has all the subtlety of a smoke aalrm. (Laughter) And eventually decisions have to be made. So I came out as tsrgneedanr and I lost all of my jobs. I had never had a bad review, and I lost every single job. In 21 states, you can't be ferid for being transgender, but in all 50, you can be fired if you're transgender and you work for a religious cooraiportn. Good to know! (Laughter) It's not easy being a transgender woman. People sometimes ask, "Do you feel 100% like a woman?" And I say, "Well, if you've talked to one transgender person, you've talked to exactly one transgender person. I can't speak for anybody else." I feel 100% like a transgender woman. There are things a cisgender woamn knows I will never know. That said, I am learning a lot about what it manes to be a female, and I am leninarg a lot about my former gender. (lghuaetr) I have the unique experience of having leivd life on both sides - (Laughter) and I'm here to tell you: the differences are mvassie. (Laughter) (auslppae) So, I'll start with the smlal sutff - like the pctoeks on women's jeans. (Laughter) What! (Cheers) (Applause) (Laughter) I can't put a phone in there. (Laughter) Paper clip, maybe. (Laughter) Or the sizing of women's clothing. Do the numbers mean anything? (Laughter) What is a dbolue zero? (Laughter) And ladies, I doubt you've thought about this, but do you know there is never a time in the life of a male that he has to worry about whether or not an article of his clothing is aldcitaecnly going to drop into the toilet? Not a long seeatwr, not a belt, nothing. Never even a pinssag thought. (Laughter) Now, I get my hair cut about half as often as I used to, but it costs tens times as much. (Laughter) So, I can go on vacation or I can get my hair cut. I cannot do both. (Laughter) I keep bumping into gender differences everywhere I go! Sometimes lrellitay. I'm walking down the hallway and I just bump into it. There's nothing in the way, and I just bump into it. I think, "What's that about?" And I know it's going to leave a bruise because now that my skin is thinner I have bruises albsuteoly everywhere. How I experience my sexuality is polrfduony different. It's less visual and more holistic; less of a body exceirpene and more of a being experience. I cannot count the number of times I've said to Cathy, my former wife, "I am so, so sorry!" (Laughter) I just didn't know what I didn't know. There is no way a well-educated wthie male can understand how much the culture is titled in his favor. There's no way he can understand it because it's all he's ever known, and all he ever will know. And conversely, there's no way that a woman can understand the full import of that because being a female is all she's ever known. She might have an inkling that she's wrnikog twice as hard for half as much, but she has no idea how much harder it is for her than it is for the guy in the Brooks Brothers jacket in the office across the hall. I know! I was that guy! And I thought I was one of the good guys, sensitive to women, egalitarian. Then came the first time I ever flew as a fmeale. Now, I've flwon over 2.3 million meils with American Airlines. I know my way around an airplane. And American was great through my transition, but that does not mean their pneraegsss were. The first time I flew as Paula, I was going from deevnr to Charlotte, and I got on the plane and there was stuff in my seat. So, I picked it up to put my stuff down, and a guy said, "That's my stuff." I said, "Okay, but it's in my seat. So, I'll just hold it for you until you find your seat, and then I'll give it to you." He said, "Lady, that is my seat!" I said, "Actually, it's not. It's my seat." (Laughter) "1D, 1D. But I'll be glad to hold your stuff until you find your seat." He said, "What do I have to tell you? That is my seat!" I said, "Yeah, it's not." (Laughter) At which point the guy behind me said, "Lady, would you take your effing argument elsewhere so I can get in the anialpre?" I was absolutely stunned! I had never been treated like that as a male. I would have said, "I believe that's my seat," and the guy immediately would have looked at his boarding pass and said, "Oh, I'm sorry." I know that because it happened all the time! The flight attendant took our boarding passes. She said to the guy, "Sir, you're in 1C. She's in 1D." I put his stuff down in 1C, he said not one single word, and of course you know who was next to me in 1F. (Laughter). Mister "would you take your effing aumengrt elsewhere." (Laughter) So, my friend Karen, who works for American, came on the plane to give the pilot his paperwork. She left and waved goodbye. When I got to chltatroe, she called me. She said, "Paula, what hepneapd? You were as white as a sheet!" I told her and she said, "Yeah. Welcome to the world of women!" (Laughter) Now, the tturh is I will not live long enough to lose my male privilege. I brought it with me when I transitioned. (Laughter) A lot of daceeds of being a man. But that doesn't mean I don't see my power diminishing. Let me tell you another thing I've observed. aaplrpntey, since I became a female, I have become stupid. (Laughter) Yeah, I guess it's the loss of testosterone and the arrival of estrogen that has caused me to lose the brain cells necessary to be a fully functioning adult human. (Laughter) Either that or I'm as smart as I ever was, it's just now I'm cntntsaloy being subjected to mansplaining. (Laughter) (Applause) So, I was in my lcoal Denver bike shop and a young summer employee said, "Can I help?" And I said, "Yeah. Can the frame of an older Gary Fisher mountain bike start to flex and bend enough that it causes the rear break to rub?" He said, "Well, disk breaks need regular adjustments." I said, "I know that, and in fact I do my reg break adjustments." He said, "Oh, well, then your rotor's bent." I said, "Yeah, my rootr is not bent. I know a bent rotor." With condescension, he said, "Well, what do you want me to do?" I said, "You could answer my question." (Laughter) At which point Kyle, the manager of the shop, stepped in. He's such a sweetheart. He said, "I think you're probably right. Let me ask you a question: Do you only get a chirp coming from that rear break when you're pulling hard upihll?" I said, "Yes, exactly!" He said, "Yeah, that's fmrae fatigue." I wanted to fall at the feet of Kyle and call him blessed! (Laughter) Someone was taking me seriously! This happens all the time now. I have to go three or four rounds with someone before I get a direct answer! And there's a deeper issue: the more you're treated as if you don't know what you're talking about, the more you begin to question whether or not you do in fact know what you're talking about, right? (Applause) I understand the woman's tenndcey to doubt herself. Do you ever notice if a woman is in a meeting with a group of men, and she knows she's right, she agipozoles for it? She says, "I'm sorry, but I don't think those nemrubs add up." You know, you don't have to apologize for being right. (Cheers) (Applause) Since I'm new to this gender, I aeksd my good friend Jen. I said, "What are women looking for in men?" She said, "Women are looking for men who will honor our uniqueness, who will realize our gifting is not lesser, it's not weaker, it's just different, it is in fact more comprehensive and it's essential." Now, of course there are men who do honor women, lots of them, like my good friend and fellow pastor, Mark, who always draws out the best in me and then seems to take pleasure in watching me lead. We need more men like Mark, who are willing to honor and empower wmeon. I know I'm going to keep bumping into additional differences on this journey, but let me leave you with this. To the women, I offer my heartfelt thanks. I often feel like an interloper, a late arrival to the serious work of womanhood, but you show me garce and great mcrey. I want you to know you are far more capable than you realize, you are more powerful than you know and you reflect the best parts of what it means to be fully human. And to you guys who are probably feeling more than a little bit uncomfortable right now - (Laughter) I do uaenrnsdtd. I never thought I had privilege, but I did. And so do you. What can you do? You can believe us when we tell you that we might, we might have equality, but we do not have equity. It is not a lveel playing field, it never has been. You can be a part of the solution by elevating us to equal ftoonig. You uniquely have that power. And to all of us, do you know who I think about a lot? I think about my brown-skinned dtageuhr, and my brown-skinned daughter-in-law. What do they know that I'm clueless about? What do any of us really know about the soehs in which we have never walked? It's hard being a woman, it's hard being a transgender woman. As a man, I just didn't know what I didn't know. Would I do it all again? Of course I would, because the call toward authenticity is sacred, it's holy, it's for the gtaerer good. For 45 yares, my father was a fundamentalist patsor. My mother is even more conservative - (Laughter) When I came out as transgender, they rtcejeed me. I thought I would never speak to them again. Last January, I took a chance and clelad my dad on his brdihaty, and he took my call. We talked for about a half hour, and about a month later, I asked if I could come for a visit, and they said yes. And last spring, I had a delightfully redemptive three-hour visit with them. I've met with them twice since. But that day, toward the end of the cotaeniorvsn, that first day, my father said a nmuebr of precious things. As I stood to go - he said - (Applause) As I sootd to go, he said, "Paula" - He called me Paula - (Applause) He said, "Paula, I don't understand this, but I am willing to try." My fahter is 93 years old, and he's willing to try. What more could I ask? I hugged him so tightly. One man willing to give up his pweor because he knew what he knew, that he loved his child, and he was willing to do whatever it takes to honor the journey of another. Thank you. (Applause) (creehs)

Open Cloze

I was the CEO of a large religious nonprofit, the host of a national television show. I preached in mega churches. I was a successful, well-educated, white American male. The poet and mystic ______ Merton said, "It's a difficult thing to climb to the top of the ladder of success only to realize when you get there that your ______ has been leaning against the wrong wall." (Laughter) I knew from the time was three or four years of age I was transgender. In my _______, I thought I got to choose. I _______ a gender fairy would arrive and say, "Okay, the time has come!" But alas, no gender fairy arrived, so I just lived my life. I didn't hate being a boy. I just knew I wasn't one. I went to college, got married, had kids, _____ a career, but the call toward authenticity has all the subtlety of a smoke _____. (Laughter) And eventually decisions have to be made. So I came out as ___________ and I lost all of my jobs. I had never had a bad review, and I lost every single job. In 21 states, you can't be _____ for being transgender, but in all 50, you can be fired if you're transgender and you work for a religious ___________. Good to know! (Laughter) It's not easy being a transgender woman. People sometimes ask, "Do you feel 100% like a woman?" And I say, "Well, if you've talked to one transgender person, you've talked to exactly one transgender person. I can't speak for anybody else." I feel 100% like a transgender woman. There are things a cisgender _____ knows I will never know. That said, I am learning a lot about what it _____ to be a female, and I am ________ a lot about my former gender. (________) I have the unique experience of having _____ life on both sides - (Laughter) and I'm here to tell you: the differences are _______. (Laughter) (________) So, I'll start with the _____ _____ - like the _______ on women's jeans. (Laughter) What! (Cheers) (Applause) (Laughter) I can't put a phone in there. (Laughter) Paper clip, maybe. (Laughter) Or the sizing of women's clothing. Do the numbers mean anything? (Laughter) What is a ______ zero? (Laughter) And ladies, I doubt you've thought about this, but do you know there is never a time in the life of a male that he has to worry about whether or not an article of his clothing is ____________ going to drop into the toilet? Not a long _______, not a belt, nothing. Never even a _______ thought. (Laughter) Now, I get my hair cut about half as often as I used to, but it costs tens times as much. (Laughter) So, I can go on vacation or I can get my hair cut. I cannot do both. (Laughter) I keep bumping into gender differences everywhere I go! Sometimes _________. I'm walking down the hallway and I just bump into it. There's nothing in the way, and I just bump into it. I think, "What's that about?" And I know it's going to leave a bruise because now that my skin is thinner I have bruises __________ everywhere. How I experience my sexuality is __________ different. It's less visual and more holistic; less of a body __________ and more of a being experience. I cannot count the number of times I've said to Cathy, my former wife, "I am so, so sorry!" (Laughter) I just didn't know what I didn't know. There is no way a well-educated _____ male can understand how much the culture is ______ in his favor. There's no way he can understand it because it's all he's ever known, and all he ever will know. And conversely, there's no way that a woman can understand the full import of that because being a female is all she's ever known. She might have an inkling that she's _______ twice as hard for half as much, but she has no idea how much harder it is for her than it is for the guy in the Brooks Brothers jacket in the office across the hall. I know! I was that guy! And I thought I was one of the good guys, sensitive to women, egalitarian. Then came the first time I ever flew as a ______. Now, I've _____ over 2.3 million _____ with American Airlines. I know my way around an airplane. And American was great through my transition, but that does not mean their __________ were. The first time I flew as Paula, I was going from ______ to Charlotte, and I got on the plane and there was stuff in my seat. So, I picked it up to put my stuff down, and a guy said, "That's my stuff." I said, "Okay, but it's in my seat. So, I'll just hold it for you until you find your seat, and then I'll give it to you." He said, "Lady, that is my seat!" I said, "Actually, it's not. It's my seat." (Laughter) "1D, 1D. But I'll be glad to hold your stuff until you find your seat." He said, "What do I have to tell you? That is my seat!" I said, "Yeah, it's not." (Laughter) At which point the guy behind me said, "Lady, would you take your effing argument elsewhere so I can get in the ________?" I was absolutely stunned! I had never been treated like that as a male. I would have said, "I believe that's my seat," and the guy immediately would have looked at his boarding pass and said, "Oh, I'm sorry." I know that because it happened all the time! The flight attendant took our boarding passes. She said to the guy, "Sir, you're in 1C. She's in 1D." I put his stuff down in 1C, he said not one single word, and of course you know who was next to me in 1F. (Laughter). Mister "would you take your effing ________ elsewhere." (Laughter) So, my friend Karen, who works for American, came on the plane to give the pilot his paperwork. She left and waved goodbye. When I got to _________, she called me. She said, "Paula, what ________? You were as white as a sheet!" I told her and she said, "Yeah. Welcome to the world of women!" (Laughter) Now, the _____ is I will not live long enough to lose my male privilege. I brought it with me when I transitioned. (Laughter) A lot of _______ of being a man. But that doesn't mean I don't see my power diminishing. Let me tell you another thing I've observed. __________, since I became a female, I have become stupid. (Laughter) Yeah, I guess it's the loss of testosterone and the arrival of estrogen that has caused me to lose the brain cells necessary to be a fully functioning adult human. (Laughter) Either that or I'm as smart as I ever was, it's just now I'm __________ being subjected to mansplaining. (Laughter) (Applause) So, I was in my _____ Denver bike shop and a young summer employee said, "Can I help?" And I said, "Yeah. Can the frame of an older Gary Fisher mountain bike start to flex and bend enough that it causes the rear break to rub?" He said, "Well, disk breaks need regular adjustments." I said, "I know that, and in fact I do my reg break adjustments." He said, "Oh, well, then your rotor's bent." I said, "Yeah, my _____ is not bent. I know a bent rotor." With condescension, he said, "Well, what do you want me to do?" I said, "You could answer my question." (Laughter) At which point Kyle, the manager of the shop, stepped in. He's such a sweetheart. He said, "I think you're probably right. Let me ask you a question: Do you only get a chirp coming from that rear break when you're pulling hard ______?" I said, "Yes, exactly!" He said, "Yeah, that's _____ fatigue." I wanted to fall at the feet of Kyle and call him blessed! (Laughter) Someone was taking me seriously! This happens all the time now. I have to go three or four rounds with someone before I get a direct answer! And there's a deeper issue: the more you're treated as if you don't know what you're talking about, the more you begin to question whether or not you do in fact know what you're talking about, right? (Applause) I understand the woman's ________ to doubt herself. Do you ever notice if a woman is in a meeting with a group of men, and she knows she's right, she __________ for it? She says, "I'm sorry, but I don't think those _______ add up." You know, you don't have to apologize for being right. (Cheers) (Applause) Since I'm new to this gender, I _____ my good friend Jen. I said, "What are women looking for in men?" She said, "Women are looking for men who will honor our uniqueness, who will realize our gifting is not lesser, it's not weaker, it's just different, it is in fact more comprehensive and it's essential." Now, of course there are men who do honor women, lots of them, like my good friend and fellow pastor, Mark, who always draws out the best in me and then seems to take pleasure in watching me lead. We need more men like Mark, who are willing to honor and empower _____. I know I'm going to keep bumping into additional differences on this journey, but let me leave you with this. To the women, I offer my heartfelt thanks. I often feel like an interloper, a late arrival to the serious work of womanhood, but you show me _____ and great _____. I want you to know you are far more capable than you realize, you are more powerful than you know and you reflect the best parts of what it means to be fully human. And to you guys who are probably feeling more than a little bit uncomfortable right now - (Laughter) I do __________. I never thought I had privilege, but I did. And so do you. What can you do? You can believe us when we tell you that we might, we might have equality, but we do not have equity. It is not a _____ playing field, it never has been. You can be a part of the solution by elevating us to equal _______. You uniquely have that power. And to all of us, do you know who I think about a lot? I think about my brown-skinned ________, and my brown-skinned daughter-in-law. What do they know that I'm clueless about? What do any of us really know about the _____ in which we have never walked? It's hard being a woman, it's hard being a transgender woman. As a man, I just didn't know what I didn't know. Would I do it all again? Of course I would, because the call toward authenticity is sacred, it's holy, it's for the _______ good. For 45 _____, my father was a fundamentalist ______. My mother is even more conservative - (Laughter) When I came out as transgender, they ________ me. I thought I would never speak to them again. Last January, I took a chance and ______ my dad on his ________, and he took my call. We talked for about a half hour, and about a month later, I asked if I could come for a visit, and they said yes. And last spring, I had a delightfully redemptive three-hour visit with them. I've met with them twice since. But that day, toward the end of the ____________, that first day, my father said a ______ of precious things. As I stood to go - he said - (Applause) As I _____ to go, he said, "Paula" - He called me Paula - (Applause) He said, "Paula, I don't understand this, but I am willing to try." My ______ is 93 years old, and he's willing to try. What more could I ask? I hugged him so tightly. One man willing to give up his _____ because he knew what he knew, that he loved his child, and he was willing to do whatever it takes to honor the journey of another. Thank you. (Applause) (______)

Solution

apparently
woman
tilted
working
years
passing
profoundly
numbers
shoes
rotor
number
miles
experience
absolutely
local
women
uphill
called
power
understand
conversation
thought
decades
double
denver
happened
alarm
daughter
asked
airplane
pastor
white
charlotte
accidentally
pockets
passengers
fired
transgender
ladder
small
rejected
constantly
truth
apologizes
frame
learning
sweater
level
stuff
father
footing
stood
mercy
massive
cheers
literally
grace
female
naivety
laughter
greater
argument
tendency
flown
means
thomas
birthday
lived
corporation
applause
built

Original Text

I was the CEO of a large religious nonprofit, the host of a national television show. I preached in mega churches. I was a successful, well-educated, white American male. The poet and mystic Thomas Merton said, "It's a difficult thing to climb to the top of the ladder of success only to realize when you get there that your ladder has been leaning against the wrong wall." (Laughter) I knew from the time was three or four years of age I was transgender. In my naivety, I thought I got to choose. I thought a gender fairy would arrive and say, "Okay, the time has come!" But alas, no gender fairy arrived, so I just lived my life. I didn't hate being a boy. I just knew I wasn't one. I went to college, got married, had kids, built a career, but the call toward authenticity has all the subtlety of a smoke alarm. (Laughter) And eventually decisions have to be made. So I came out as transgender and I lost all of my jobs. I had never had a bad review, and I lost every single job. In 21 states, you can't be fired for being transgender, but in all 50, you can be fired if you're transgender and you work for a religious corporation. Good to know! (Laughter) It's not easy being a transgender woman. People sometimes ask, "Do you feel 100% like a woman?" And I say, "Well, if you've talked to one transgender person, you've talked to exactly one transgender person. I can't speak for anybody else." I feel 100% like a transgender woman. There are things a cisgender woman knows I will never know. That said, I am learning a lot about what it means to be a female, and I am learning a lot about my former gender. (Laughter) I have the unique experience of having lived life on both sides - (Laughter) and I'm here to tell you: the differences are massive. (Laughter) (Applause) So, I'll start with the small stuff - like the pockets on women's jeans. (Laughter) What! (Cheers) (Applause) (Laughter) I can't put a phone in there. (Laughter) Paper clip, maybe. (Laughter) Or the sizing of women's clothing. Do the numbers mean anything? (Laughter) What is a double zero? (Laughter) And ladies, I doubt you've thought about this, but do you know there is never a time in the life of a male that he has to worry about whether or not an article of his clothing is accidentally going to drop into the toilet? Not a long sweater, not a belt, nothing. Never even a passing thought. (Laughter) Now, I get my hair cut about half as often as I used to, but it costs tens times as much. (Laughter) So, I can go on vacation or I can get my hair cut. I cannot do both. (Laughter) I keep bumping into gender differences everywhere I go! Sometimes literally. I'm walking down the hallway and I just bump into it. There's nothing in the way, and I just bump into it. I think, "What's that about?" And I know it's going to leave a bruise because now that my skin is thinner I have bruises absolutely everywhere. How I experience my sexuality is profoundly different. It's less visual and more holistic; less of a body experience and more of a being experience. I cannot count the number of times I've said to Cathy, my former wife, "I am so, so sorry!" (Laughter) I just didn't know what I didn't know. There is no way a well-educated white male can understand how much the culture is tilted in his favor. There's no way he can understand it because it's all he's ever known, and all he ever will know. And conversely, there's no way that a woman can understand the full import of that because being a female is all she's ever known. She might have an inkling that she's working twice as hard for half as much, but she has no idea how much harder it is for her than it is for the guy in the Brooks Brothers jacket in the office across the hall. I know! I was that guy! And I thought I was one of the good guys, sensitive to women, egalitarian. Then came the first time I ever flew as a female. Now, I've flown over 2.3 million miles with American Airlines. I know my way around an airplane. And American was great through my transition, but that does not mean their passengers were. The first time I flew as Paula, I was going from Denver to Charlotte, and I got on the plane and there was stuff in my seat. So, I picked it up to put my stuff down, and a guy said, "That's my stuff." I said, "Okay, but it's in my seat. So, I'll just hold it for you until you find your seat, and then I'll give it to you." He said, "Lady, that is my seat!" I said, "Actually, it's not. It's my seat." (Laughter) "1D, 1D. But I'll be glad to hold your stuff until you find your seat." He said, "What do I have to tell you? That is my seat!" I said, "Yeah, it's not." (Laughter) At which point the guy behind me said, "Lady, would you take your effing argument elsewhere so I can get in the airplane?" I was absolutely stunned! I had never been treated like that as a male. I would have said, "I believe that's my seat," and the guy immediately would have looked at his boarding pass and said, "Oh, I'm sorry." I know that because it happened all the time! The flight attendant took our boarding passes. She said to the guy, "Sir, you're in 1C. She's in 1D." I put his stuff down in 1C, he said not one single word, and of course you know who was next to me in 1F. (Laughter). Mister "would you take your effing argument elsewhere." (Laughter) So, my friend Karen, who works for American, came on the plane to give the pilot his paperwork. She left and waved goodbye. When I got to Charlotte, she called me. She said, "Paula, what happened? You were as white as a sheet!" I told her and she said, "Yeah. Welcome to the world of women!" (Laughter) Now, the truth is I will not live long enough to lose my male privilege. I brought it with me when I transitioned. (Laughter) A lot of decades of being a man. But that doesn't mean I don't see my power diminishing. Let me tell you another thing I've observed. Apparently, since I became a female, I have become stupid. (Laughter) Yeah, I guess it's the loss of testosterone and the arrival of estrogen that has caused me to lose the brain cells necessary to be a fully functioning adult human. (Laughter) Either that or I'm as smart as I ever was, it's just now I'm constantly being subjected to mansplaining. (Laughter) (Applause) So, I was in my local Denver bike shop and a young summer employee said, "Can I help?" And I said, "Yeah. Can the frame of an older Gary Fisher mountain bike start to flex and bend enough that it causes the rear break to rub?" He said, "Well, disk breaks need regular adjustments." I said, "I know that, and in fact I do my reg break adjustments." He said, "Oh, well, then your rotor's bent." I said, "Yeah, my rotor is not bent. I know a bent rotor." With condescension, he said, "Well, what do you want me to do?" I said, "You could answer my question." (Laughter) At which point Kyle, the manager of the shop, stepped in. He's such a sweetheart. He said, "I think you're probably right. Let me ask you a question: Do you only get a chirp coming from that rear break when you're pulling hard uphill?" I said, "Yes, exactly!" He said, "Yeah, that's frame fatigue." I wanted to fall at the feet of Kyle and call him blessed! (Laughter) Someone was taking me seriously! This happens all the time now. I have to go three or four rounds with someone before I get a direct answer! And there's a deeper issue: the more you're treated as if you don't know what you're talking about, the more you begin to question whether or not you do in fact know what you're talking about, right? (Applause) I understand the woman's tendency to doubt herself. Do you ever notice if a woman is in a meeting with a group of men, and she knows she's right, she apologizes for it? She says, "I'm sorry, but I don't think those numbers add up." You know, you don't have to apologize for being right. (Cheers) (Applause) Since I'm new to this gender, I asked my good friend Jen. I said, "What are women looking for in men?" She said, "Women are looking for men who will honor our uniqueness, who will realize our gifting is not lesser, it's not weaker, it's just different, it is in fact more comprehensive and it's essential." Now, of course there are men who do honor women, lots of them, like my good friend and fellow pastor, Mark, who always draws out the best in me and then seems to take pleasure in watching me lead. We need more men like Mark, who are willing to honor and empower women. I know I'm going to keep bumping into additional differences on this journey, but let me leave you with this. To the women, I offer my heartfelt thanks. I often feel like an interloper, a late arrival to the serious work of womanhood, but you show me grace and great mercy. I want you to know you are far more capable than you realize, you are more powerful than you know and you reflect the best parts of what it means to be fully human. And to you guys who are probably feeling more than a little bit uncomfortable right now - (Laughter) I do understand. I never thought I had privilege, but I did. And so do you. What can you do? You can believe us when we tell you that we might, we might have equality, but we do not have equity. It is not a level playing field, it never has been. You can be a part of the solution by elevating us to equal footing. You uniquely have that power. And to all of us, do you know who I think about a lot? I think about my brown-skinned daughter, and my brown-skinned daughter-in-law. What do they know that I'm clueless about? What do any of us really know about the shoes in which we have never walked? It's hard being a woman, it's hard being a transgender woman. As a man, I just didn't know what I didn't know. Would I do it all again? Of course I would, because the call toward authenticity is sacred, it's holy, it's for the greater good. For 45 years, my father was a fundamentalist pastor. My mother is even more conservative - (Laughter) When I came out as transgender, they rejected me. I thought I would never speak to them again. Last January, I took a chance and called my dad on his birthday, and he took my call. We talked for about a half hour, and about a month later, I asked if I could come for a visit, and they said yes. And last spring, I had a delightfully redemptive three-hour visit with them. I've met with them twice since. But that day, toward the end of the conversation, that first day, my father said a number of precious things. As I stood to go - he said - (Applause) As I stood to go, he said, "Paula" - He called me Paula - (Applause) He said, "Paula, I don't understand this, but I am willing to try." My father is 93 years old, and he's willing to try. What more could I ask? I hugged him so tightly. One man willing to give up his power because he knew what he knew, that he loved his child, and he was willing to do whatever it takes to honor the journey of another. Thank you. (Applause) (Cheers)

Frequently Occurring Word Combinations

ngrams of length 2

collocation	frequency
transgender woman	3
gender fairy	2
hair cut	2
effing argument	2
rear break	2
good friend	2

Important Words

absolutely
accidentally
add
additional
adjustments
adult
age
airlines
airplane
alarm
alas
american
answer
apologize
apologizes
apparently
applause
argument
arrival
arrive
arrived
article
asked
attendant
authenticity
bad
belt
bend
bent
bike
birthday
bit
boarding
body
boy
brain
break
breaks
brooks
brothers
brought
bruise
bruises
built
bump
bumping
call
called
capable
career
cathy
caused
cells
ceo
chance
charlotte
cheers
child
chirp
choose
churches
cisgender
climb
clip
clothing
clueless
college
coming
comprehensive
condescension
conservative
constantly
conversation
conversely
corporation
costs
count
culture
cut
dad
daughter
day
decades
decisions
deeper
delightfully
denver
differences
difficult
diminishing
direct
disk
double
doubt
draws
drop
easy
effing
egalitarian
elevating
employee
empower
equal
equality
equity
essential
estrogen
eventually
experience
fact
fairy
fall
father
fatigue
favor
feel
feeling
feet
fellow
female
field
find
fired
fisher
flew
flex
flight
flown
footing
frame
friend
full
fully
functioning
fundamentalist
gary
gender
gifting
give
glad
good
goodbye
grace
great
greater
group
guess
guy
guys
hair
hall
hallway
happened
hard
harder
hate
heartfelt
hold
holy
honor
host
hour
hugged
human
idea
immediately
import
inkling
interloper
jacket
january
jeans
jen
job
jobs
journey
karen
kids
knew
kyle
ladder
ladies
large
late
laughter
lead
leaning
learning
leave
left
lesser
level
life
literally
live
lived
local
long
looked
lose
loss
lost
lot
lots
loved
male
man
manager
mansplaining
mark
married
massive
means
meeting
mega
men
mercy
merton
met
miles
million
mister
month
mother
mountain
mystic
naivety
national
nonprofit
notice
number
numbers
observed
offer
office
older
paper
paperwork
part
parts
pass
passengers
passes
passing
pastor
paula
people
person
phone
picked
pilot
plane
playing
pleasure
pockets
poet
point
power
powerful
preached
precious
privilege
profoundly
pulling
put
question
realize
rear
redemptive
reflect
reg
regular
rejected
religious
review
rotor
rounds
rub
sacred
seat
sensitive
sexuality
shoes
shop
show
sides
single
sizing
skin
small
smart
smoke
solution
speak
spring
start
states
stepped
stood
stuff
stupid
subjected
subtlety
success
successful
summer
sweater
sweetheart
takes
talked
talking
television
tendency
tens
testosterone
thinner
thomas
thought
tightly
tilted
time
times
toilet
told
top
transgender
transition
transitioned
treated
truth
uncomfortable
understand
unique
uniquely
uniqueness
uphill
vacation
visit
visual
walked
walking
wall
wanted
watching
waved
weaker
white
wife
woman
womanhood
women
word
work
working
works
world
worry
wrong
yeah
years
young