TedTest

From the Ted Talk by Keiichiro Hirano: Love others to love yourself

Unscramble the Blue Letters

As I have been recently haienrg about disturbing sad news, I often think about the idea of loving yourself. We have been tghuat to love other people as an itanoprmt value, but I think loving our own selves hasn't been considered to be an issue worth talking about. Why? It may be because it's too obovuis, that we love ourselves, to take up the issue and stress the importance. All of us can't avoid being egistoic, sometimes. We want to have things our own way. If everything in our life is going well, can we love ourselves? Not necessarily so. The reason why it's hard to discuss "self-love" may be that it has a kind of a narcissistic whiff and sounds a little icky to people. If we saw somebody looking in the mirror, saying, "How I love myself! Don't btoehr me!"... I am not talking about myself! We would want to say, "Suit yourself! Keep looking in the mirror." I want to say it doesn't have to be like that, to love ourselves. Life isn't always easy. It would be, of course, nice if we were happy all our life. But in our life, many people might say, "I hate you," or "I wish you would dspiapear from this world." Going through the agony, we ultimately reach the realization that we have to love ourselves in the sense of taking responsibility for ourselves and looking after ourselves. If, when people tell us, "I hate you," we respond to it by saying, "Yes, I hate myself, too," the moment we said so, I'm sure we would lose our dersie to go on living. I've felt the need for that kind of aitdutte more than once myself. Since we don't know what will hpapen in the future, the kind of situation in which we have to love ourselves might arise again, in the sense of needing to take care of ourselves. It would be wfueondrl if you could live a trouble-free life. For a quite long time, I couldn't figure out what kind of pesron I was. When I did something good for others, people showed appreciation to me, and then I thought I was bllcasaiy a pretty good person. Like that, I had occasions that made me feel relieved. On the other hand, when I would really hurt someone, I was very disappointed in myself, feeling like I was fundamentally a cruel person. To love ourselves actually may be hdarer than to love any other person, because we know ourselves thoroughly, through and through. Looking back at all we have done in the past, and remembering: "Boy, I did such things as this and that..." And not only the good things we've done, but unpleasant things we've done also come back at us. Can we love ourselves with knowing all those sides of us? At this point, I thought, in our thought process, there must be something fundamentally wrnog. Then, I started by doing this to cngahe it: First, I honestly looked back at myself, seeing a prtety good person, or one not so good. And for the time being, I accepted all my "selves," good or bad. Instead of being judgmental about myself, tkinhing "I may be a nice guy at heart," or "I may be basically a cruel person," "Which one is really me?" I decided to accept all my "selves" as parts of myself, and thought about why I had so many viraed "selves" in this one person. To sum it up, it's in response to different ploepe and different situations. When I talk to my grandmother, I am very relaxed. When I talk to people at work, I may sound serious, putting on a serious look, tklnaig about difficult things. When I talk to somebody who rubs me the wrong way, you can bet the tone of my voice can't be this calm. I try not to come into contact with such a person in the first place. In any case, each "self" of mine has its own uniqueness. To love each "self" of mine equally in order to love myself may be very difficult, but I can say, "I love my 'self' when I am with this person. I become somebody whom I even abhor when I am with that person. But I like my 'self' pretty well when I am with this particular person. I am not too bad." In fact, to love ourselves may not be that hard after all. Take rmonace. Suppose there are two girls, and I have feelings toward both of them. One day I have a date with one of them, and have dnnier with her. I enjoy being with her, talking a lot, frequently interjecting jokes, smilnig at each other, and we interact with each other very well. Then suddenly I notice it's the time for the last train. I rush to the train station to catch the last one. And at home, I'm happy with myself. As for the other girl, I also like her, but during our date, I can't talk or joke that much... And we often get aawrwkd silences. I feel like a melrisabe loser. I don't feel like going on with her, so after having dinner, we say goyobde to each other. After the two dates, if I were asked which one I would rather see again, I would choose the first one without hesitation. There's no doubt I like her, but rather because I like my "self" when I am with her. I enjoy my "self" when I am with her, and find life wotrh living in the life of that "self" of mine. The dfioteiinn of "love" may be to love somebody else, this surely is not wrong, but what I would like to add to it is: Rather, to love means, with the help of the person we love, for us to be able to love ourselves. That's what I'd like to think. "I can reeavl my inner self as I wish without any difficulties, being true to myself, when I am with that person, and it will never happen with anybody else." Unfortunately, some of our relationships come to end. Some end out of dspitues. Others end due to death. When we grieve over linsog our lvoed ones, we miss the voice and hug of the person, and many other things, but I wonder if we may rather be grieving over losing the life of our "self" who lived with that person, thinking: "Only with them could I talk freely like that. Only with them could I be honest with myself. Only with them could I be silly like that. But that person is gone now, and I can't live the life of that 'self' of mine I love any longer." I wonder if that is what we really gierve over. And, of course, vice versa. If somebody says to me, "I love you," I will be eporhiuc, yelling, "Yes!" But if I were told, "Thanks to you, I come to love myself," or "I love myself when I'm with you more than when I am with anybody else," that would be something which strikes my heart more. That my existence validates one person's existence that way moves me with a deep joy, something paignont. Each time when we find one "self" we love, we may be finding our foothold we need to go on living. In our life, we feel like we need to be loved by many people, a certain pnercteage of people in our groups, in our class, our wpocalkre. But not that many of those "selves" we love may be necessary. If we find two or three of our "selves" we love in ourselves, we can go on with those as our foothold. Five or six may be more than enough. You may think you only have 3 friends in your casls at school or you may think three that many friends who help you like yourself. All dedneps on how you take it. To love ourselves doesn't mean saying: "I am crazy about myself," looking into a mriror, but, instead, it means, with the help of or via somebody else, for us to come to love ourselves. It's probably where we start really loving ourselves. And that is why, as we feel the need, we love others as indispensable individuals. That's all I want to say. Thank you. (Applause)

Open Cloze

As I have been recently _______ about disturbing sad news, I often think about the idea of loving yourself. We have been ______ to love other people as an _________ value, but I think loving our own selves hasn't been considered to be an issue worth talking about. Why? It may be because it's too _______, that we love ourselves, to take up the issue and stress the importance. All of us can't avoid being ________, sometimes. We want to have things our own way. If everything in our life is going well, can we love ourselves? Not necessarily so. The reason why it's hard to discuss "self-love" may be that it has a kind of a narcissistic whiff and sounds a little icky to people. If we saw somebody looking in the mirror, saying, "How I love myself! Don't ______ me!"... I am not talking about myself! We would want to say, "Suit yourself! Keep looking in the mirror." I want to say it doesn't have to be like that, to love ourselves. Life isn't always easy. It would be, of course, nice if we were happy all our life. But in our life, many people might say, "I hate you," or "I wish you would _________ from this world." Going through the agony, we ultimately reach the realization that we have to love ourselves in the sense of taking responsibility for ourselves and looking after ourselves. If, when people tell us, "I hate you," we respond to it by saying, "Yes, I hate myself, too," the moment we said so, I'm sure we would lose our ______ to go on living. I've felt the need for that kind of ________ more than once myself. Since we don't know what will ______ in the future, the kind of situation in which we have to love ourselves might arise again, in the sense of needing to take care of ourselves. It would be _________ if you could live a trouble-free life. For a quite long time, I couldn't figure out what kind of ______ I was. When I did something good for others, people showed appreciation to me, and then I thought I was _________ a pretty good person. Like that, I had occasions that made me feel relieved. On the other hand, when I would really hurt someone, I was very disappointed in myself, feeling like I was fundamentally a cruel person. To love ourselves actually may be ______ than to love any other person, because we know ourselves thoroughly, through and through. Looking back at all we have done in the past, and remembering: "Boy, I did such things as this and that..." And not only the good things we've done, but unpleasant things we've done also come back at us. Can we love ourselves with knowing all those sides of us? At this point, I thought, in our thought process, there must be something fundamentally _____. Then, I started by doing this to ______ it: First, I honestly looked back at myself, seeing a ______ good person, or one not so good. And for the time being, I accepted all my "selves," good or bad. Instead of being judgmental about myself, ________ "I may be a nice guy at heart," or "I may be basically a cruel person," "Which one is really me?" I decided to accept all my "selves" as parts of myself, and thought about why I had so many ______ "selves" in this one person. To sum it up, it's in response to different ______ and different situations. When I talk to my grandmother, I am very relaxed. When I talk to people at work, I may sound serious, putting on a serious look, _______ about difficult things. When I talk to somebody who rubs me the wrong way, you can bet the tone of my voice can't be this calm. I try not to come into contact with such a person in the first place. In any case, each "self" of mine has its own uniqueness. To love each "self" of mine equally in order to love myself may be very difficult, but I can say, "I love my 'self' when I am with this person. I become somebody whom I even abhor when I am with that person. But I like my 'self' pretty well when I am with this particular person. I am not too bad." In fact, to love ourselves may not be that hard after all. Take _______. Suppose there are two girls, and I have feelings toward both of them. One day I have a date with one of them, and have ______ with her. I enjoy being with her, talking a lot, frequently interjecting jokes, _______ at each other, and we interact with each other very well. Then suddenly I notice it's the time for the last train. I rush to the train station to catch the last one. And at home, I'm happy with myself. As for the other girl, I also like her, but during our date, I can't talk or joke that much... And we often get _______ silences. I feel like a _________ loser. I don't feel like going on with her, so after having dinner, we say _______ to each other. After the two dates, if I were asked which one I would rather see again, I would choose the first one without hesitation. There's no doubt I like her, but rather because I like my "self" when I am with her. I enjoy my "self" when I am with her, and find life _____ living in the life of that "self" of mine. The __________ of "love" may be to love somebody else, this surely is not wrong, but what I would like to add to it is: Rather, to love means, with the help of the person we love, for us to be able to love ourselves. That's what I'd like to think. "I can ______ my inner self as I wish without any difficulties, being true to myself, when I am with that person, and it will never happen with anybody else." Unfortunately, some of our relationships come to end. Some end out of ________. Others end due to death. When we grieve over ______ our _____ ones, we miss the voice and hug of the person, and many other things, but I wonder if we may rather be grieving over losing the life of our "self" who lived with that person, thinking: "Only with them could I talk freely like that. Only with them could I be honest with myself. Only with them could I be silly like that. But that person is gone now, and I can't live the life of that 'self' of mine I love any longer." I wonder if that is what we really ______ over. And, of course, vice versa. If somebody says to me, "I love you," I will be ________, yelling, "Yes!" But if I were told, "Thanks to you, I come to love myself," or "I love myself when I'm with you more than when I am with anybody else," that would be something which strikes my heart more. That my existence validates one person's existence that way moves me with a deep joy, something ________. Each time when we find one "self" we love, we may be finding our foothold we need to go on living. In our life, we feel like we need to be loved by many people, a certain __________ of people in our groups, in our class, our _________. But not that many of those "selves" we love may be necessary. If we find two or three of our "selves" we love in ourselves, we can go on with those as our foothold. Five or six may be more than enough. You may think you only have 3 friends in your _____ at school or you may think three that many friends who help you like yourself. All _______ on how you take it. To love ourselves doesn't mean saying: "I am crazy about myself," looking into a ______, but, instead, it means, with the help of or via somebody else, for us to come to love ourselves. It's probably where we start really loving ourselves. And that is why, as we feel the need, we love others as indispensable individuals. That's all I want to say. Thank you. (Applause)

Solution

people
pretty
harder
definition
disappear
smiling
thinking
loved
dinner
wrong
important
mirror
reveal
attitude
wonderful
percentage
varied
losing
grieve
hearing
depends
goodbye
happen
miserable
desire
basically
talking
euphoric
bother
awkward
workplace
change
obvious
egoistic
class
disputes
person
taught
worth
poignant
romance

Original Text

As I have been recently hearing about disturbing sad news, I often think about the idea of loving yourself. We have been taught to love other people as an important value, but I think loving our own selves hasn't been considered to be an issue worth talking about. Why? It may be because it's too obvious, that we love ourselves, to take up the issue and stress the importance. All of us can't avoid being egoistic, sometimes. We want to have things our own way. If everything in our life is going well, can we love ourselves? Not necessarily so. The reason why it's hard to discuss "self-love" may be that it has a kind of a narcissistic whiff and sounds a little icky to people. If we saw somebody looking in the mirror, saying, "How I love myself! Don't bother me!"... I am not talking about myself! We would want to say, "Suit yourself! Keep looking in the mirror." I want to say it doesn't have to be like that, to love ourselves. Life isn't always easy. It would be, of course, nice if we were happy all our life. But in our life, many people might say, "I hate you," or "I wish you would disappear from this world." Going through the agony, we ultimately reach the realization that we have to love ourselves in the sense of taking responsibility for ourselves and looking after ourselves. If, when people tell us, "I hate you," we respond to it by saying, "Yes, I hate myself, too," the moment we said so, I'm sure we would lose our desire to go on living. I've felt the need for that kind of attitude more than once myself. Since we don't know what will happen in the future, the kind of situation in which we have to love ourselves might arise again, in the sense of needing to take care of ourselves. It would be wonderful if you could live a trouble-free life. For a quite long time, I couldn't figure out what kind of person I was. When I did something good for others, people showed appreciation to me, and then I thought I was basically a pretty good person. Like that, I had occasions that made me feel relieved. On the other hand, when I would really hurt someone, I was very disappointed in myself, feeling like I was fundamentally a cruel person. To love ourselves actually may be harder than to love any other person, because we know ourselves thoroughly, through and through. Looking back at all we have done in the past, and remembering: "Boy, I did such things as this and that..." And not only the good things we've done, but unpleasant things we've done also come back at us. Can we love ourselves with knowing all those sides of us? At this point, I thought, in our thought process, there must be something fundamentally wrong. Then, I started by doing this to change it: First, I honestly looked back at myself, seeing a pretty good person, or one not so good. And for the time being, I accepted all my "selves," good or bad. Instead of being judgmental about myself, thinking "I may be a nice guy at heart," or "I may be basically a cruel person," "Which one is really me?" I decided to accept all my "selves" as parts of myself, and thought about why I had so many varied "selves" in this one person. To sum it up, it's in response to different people and different situations. When I talk to my grandmother, I am very relaxed. When I talk to people at work, I may sound serious, putting on a serious look, talking about difficult things. When I talk to somebody who rubs me the wrong way, you can bet the tone of my voice can't be this calm. I try not to come into contact with such a person in the first place. In any case, each "self" of mine has its own uniqueness. To love each "self" of mine equally in order to love myself may be very difficult, but I can say, "I love my 'self' when I am with this person. I become somebody whom I even abhor when I am with that person. But I like my 'self' pretty well when I am with this particular person. I am not too bad." In fact, to love ourselves may not be that hard after all. Take romance. Suppose there are two girls, and I have feelings toward both of them. One day I have a date with one of them, and have dinner with her. I enjoy being with her, talking a lot, frequently interjecting jokes, smiling at each other, and we interact with each other very well. Then suddenly I notice it's the time for the last train. I rush to the train station to catch the last one. And at home, I'm happy with myself. As for the other girl, I also like her, but during our date, I can't talk or joke that much... And we often get awkward silences. I feel like a miserable loser. I don't feel like going on with her, so after having dinner, we say goodbye to each other. After the two dates, if I were asked which one I would rather see again, I would choose the first one without hesitation. There's no doubt I like her, but rather because I like my "self" when I am with her. I enjoy my "self" when I am with her, and find life worth living in the life of that "self" of mine. The definition of "love" may be to love somebody else, this surely is not wrong, but what I would like to add to it is: Rather, to love means, with the help of the person we love, for us to be able to love ourselves. That's what I'd like to think. "I can reveal my inner self as I wish without any difficulties, being true to myself, when I am with that person, and it will never happen with anybody else." Unfortunately, some of our relationships come to end. Some end out of disputes. Others end due to death. When we grieve over losing our loved ones, we miss the voice and hug of the person, and many other things, but I wonder if we may rather be grieving over losing the life of our "self" who lived with that person, thinking: "Only with them could I talk freely like that. Only with them could I be honest with myself. Only with them could I be silly like that. But that person is gone now, and I can't live the life of that 'self' of mine I love any longer." I wonder if that is what we really grieve over. And, of course, vice versa. If somebody says to me, "I love you," I will be euphoric, yelling, "Yes!" But if I were told, "Thanks to you, I come to love myself," or "I love myself when I'm with you more than when I am with anybody else," that would be something which strikes my heart more. That my existence validates one person's existence that way moves me with a deep joy, something poignant. Each time when we find one "self" we love, we may be finding our foothold we need to go on living. In our life, we feel like we need to be loved by many people, a certain percentage of people in our groups, in our class, our workplace. But not that many of those "selves" we love may be necessary. If we find two or three of our "selves" we love in ourselves, we can go on with those as our foothold. Five or six may be more than enough. You may think you only have 3 friends in your class at school or you may think three that many friends who help you like yourself. All depends on how you take it. To love ourselves doesn't mean saying: "I am crazy about myself," looking into a mirror, but, instead, it means, with the help of or via somebody else, for us to come to love ourselves. It's probably where we start really loving ourselves. And that is why, as we feel the need, we love others as indispensable individuals. That's all I want to say. Thank you. (Applause)

Frequently Occurring Word Combinations

ngrams of length 2

collocation	frequency
pretty good	2

Important Words

abhor
accept
accepted
add
agony
applause
appreciation
arise
asked
attitude
avoid
awkward
bad
basically
bet
bother
calm
care
case
catch
change
choose
class
considered
contact
crazy
cruel
date
dates
day
death
decided
deep
definition
depends
desire
difficult
difficulties
dinner
disappear
disappointed
discuss
disputes
disturbing
doubt
due
easy
egoistic
enjoy
equally
euphoric
existence
fact
feel
feeling
feelings
felt
figure
find
finding
foothold
freely
frequently
friends
fundamentally
future
girl
girls
good
goodbye
grandmother
grieve
grieving
groups
guy
hand
happen
happy
hard
harder
hate
hearing
heart
hesitation
home
honest
honestly
hug
hurt
icky
idea
importance
important
indispensable
individuals
interact
interjecting
issue
joke
jokes
joy
judgmental
kind
knowing
life
live
lived
living
long
longer
looked
lose
loser
losing
lot
love
loved
loving
means
mirror
miserable
moment
moves
narcissistic
necessarily
needing
news
nice
notice
obvious
occasions
order
parts
people
percentage
person
place
poignant
point
pretty
process
putting
reach
realization
reason
relationships
relaxed
relieved
respond
response
responsibility
reveal
romance
rubs
rush
sad
school
sense
showed
sides
silences
silly
situation
situations
smiling
sound
sounds
start
started
station
stress
strikes
suddenly
sum
suppose
surely
talk
talking
taught
thinking
thought
time
told
tone
train
true
ultimately
uniqueness
unpleasant
validates
varied
versa
vice
voice
whiff
wonderful
work
workplace
world
worth
wrong
yelling