TedTest

From the Ted Talk by Cynthia Ong: Redefining how we love

Unscramble the Blue Letters

Samantha Contreras Martínez, Translator

Hi, everyone. For many of us, good or bad, our parents were our first tleatpme of love. I grew up living a unique yet conommly shaerd experience. That of the cihld of a first-generation immigrants. My parents emigrated from Vietnam in their twenties, looking for opportunities that they were never afforded gwinorg up in an isepmhoeirvd crutnoy. Like many, they left behind friends and family, career ambitions and an eitrne life behind them, to come to the US and work entry-level jobs for dcedeas, to sopurpt our family. Growing up, I was probably overly aware of the sacrifices that my parents had made for me and my brother. My mom’s absences from our weekends and sporting events were notable, but I knew that she was wkoinrg so that I could sooht some basketball and practice gtacmyisns. Poorly. I might add. I didn't realize it, but over time, this was being ingrained into my own concept of love. Love was giving. Love was making sure that other people's needs were met before your own. Love was coming home from a long day of work and using the little bit of energy that you had left to peel and cut up a pecie of fruit for your child to snack on while they did their homework. Love was sifirccae. I found myself emulating this idea of love in my own friendships and relationships. siiraccnfig parts of myself for other people. I said yes to things that I didn't have time for. I took on other people's problems as my own. I didn’t speak up when things bothered me out of penalottliy upsetting someone else. I became a people pleaser. You can imagine my disappointment I found myself in relationships where other people weren’t willing to drop everything that they were doing just to make me happy. I thought that love was impossible to find. That nobody cared. Turns out other pploee just have hhately boundaries. This became especially apparent when I started a new chapter in my life. Medical soohcl In the midst of a pandemic, no less. As many of you may know, medical school is hard. I found myself with less time, less emotional space, and less mnteal capacity to give. But don’t worry. I still tried. I tried to give and to love and to sacrifice. But instead I found myself feeling drained and exhausted. Sacrifice was all I had ever known. And if I didn’t have the energy to give, I found myself fenileg like I didn’t know who I was anymore. Technically, I found myself in my first therapy atennpmopit. Amongst the number of poufornd peeics of aicdve that my tarehpist shared with me, she also shared a uuinqe perspective of identity. That who we are is not dfnieed by what we give to other people. Rather, our itdeitny is defined by our values and how we choose to live in accordance with those valeus. I didn't value sacrifice, at least not meaningless sacrifice. I valued what that sacrifice stood for: love and connection. I thought about it. I also valued keinsdns and empathy, gratitude, resiliency, ambition, and fimlay. These are the values that defined me, not sacrifice. I added one more value to that list. Self-preservation. Ironically, I meant doing exactly what other people were already doing. Setting boundaries. That meant giving without ginivg up things that were important. That meant empathizing with people’s problems without having to try and solve them. That meant being able to say no without carrying the guilt of potentially disappointing someone. And doing these things gave me the space to psrevere and love myself first. As I learned more about myself and how I showed up in my own life, my interpersonal ripaienshtlos started to change. I was no logner ropsbeilsne for anyone else’s happiness other than my own. And nobody else is responsible for my happiness. And as my relationships changed, so did my idea of love. Love shifted from this idea of obligation to choice. Love was not having to give up parts of ourselves for other people. Love was choosing people to share the best parts of ourselves with. Love was choosing to show up as our true selves every day and to surround ourselves with people with similar values. Sacrifice could be love. But love didn’t have to be sacrifice. Love could be choosing to prioritize ourselves first so that we can be better friends and partners to others. Love could be choosing to communicate when our needs aren’t being met, so that other people have the oupirtonpty to listen and to strengthen that bond. Love could be the little things. like writing a letetr to someone you miss, telling them you’re thinking about them. Or coming home from grocery sotre with someone’s favorite snack, because seeing it rdneemid you of them. Love could be peeling and cutting up a piece of fruit for someone to snack on. Even if you didn’t just come home from a long day of work. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have literally no dbuot that my parents love me to no end. They would give up anything and honestly have to make sure that I have everything that I need in this life. My mom gave up on her dream of becoming a doctor so that now I have the opportunity to be in medical school. How full circle is that? I think my parents sacrifice was their most noble act of love. They took on an impossible task of a lefiitme. But it was just that. A task of a lifetime. I have had the privilege of living a very different life than they have. So it makes sense that how we give and receive love looks so different. But we don’t have to mirror their style of love for it to be just as mnnfeigaul or passionate or impactful. gnatred, I'm still laenring. Learning about myself, my values, my boundaries, and what love looks like for me. I hope each of you will walk out of here, thinking of how you choose to love aligns with your values. Because love doesn’t have to be what our patrens had or necessarily even what we received growing up. Love is a ritfcoelen of who we are today in this moment. And as we inevitably change a nd evolve as people. So while our idea of love. Thank you.

Open Cloze

Samantha Contreras Martínez, Translator

Hi, everyone. For many of us, good or bad, our parents were our first ________ of love. I grew up living a unique yet ________ ______ experience. That of the _____ of a first-generation immigrants. My parents emigrated from Vietnam in their twenties, looking for opportunities that they were never afforded _______ up in an ____________ _______. Like many, they left behind friends and family, career ambitions and an ______ life behind them, to come to the US and work entry-level jobs for _______, to _______ our family. Growing up, I was probably overly aware of the sacrifices that my parents had made for me and my brother. My mom’s absences from our weekends and sporting events were notable, but I knew that she was _______ so that I could _____ some basketball and practice __________. Poorly. I might add. I didn't realize it, but over time, this was being ingrained into my own concept of love. Love was giving. Love was making sure that other people's needs were met before your own. Love was coming home from a long day of work and using the little bit of energy that you had left to peel and cut up a _____ of fruit for your child to snack on while they did their homework. Love was _________. I found myself emulating this idea of love in my own friendships and relationships. ___________ parts of myself for other people. I said yes to things that I didn't have time for. I took on other people's problems as my own. I didn’t speak up when things bothered me out of ___________ upsetting someone else. I became a people pleaser. You can imagine my disappointment I found myself in relationships where other people weren’t willing to drop everything that they were doing just to make me happy. I thought that love was impossible to find. That nobody cared. Turns out other ______ just have _______ boundaries. This became especially apparent when I started a new chapter in my life. Medical ______ In the midst of a pandemic, no less. As many of you may know, medical school is hard. I found myself with less time, less emotional space, and less ______ capacity to give. But don’t worry. I still tried. I tried to give and to love and to sacrifice. But instead I found myself feeling drained and exhausted. Sacrifice was all I had ever known. And if I didn’t have the energy to give, I found myself _______ like I didn’t know who I was anymore. Technically, I found myself in my first therapy ___________. Amongst the number of ________ ______ of ______ that my _________ shared with me, she also shared a ______ perspective of identity. That who we are is not _______ by what we give to other people. Rather, our ________ is defined by our values and how we choose to live in accordance with those ______. I didn't value sacrifice, at least not meaningless sacrifice. I valued what that sacrifice stood for: love and connection. I thought about it. I also valued ________ and empathy, gratitude, resiliency, ambition, and ______. These are the values that defined me, not sacrifice. I added one more value to that list. Self-preservation. Ironically, I meant doing exactly what other people were already doing. Setting boundaries. That meant giving without ______ up things that were important. That meant empathizing with people’s problems without having to try and solve them. That meant being able to say no without carrying the guilt of potentially disappointing someone. And doing these things gave me the space to ________ and love myself first. As I learned more about myself and how I showed up in my own life, my interpersonal _____________ started to change. I was no ______ ___________ for anyone else’s happiness other than my own. And nobody else is responsible for my happiness. And as my relationships changed, so did my idea of love. Love shifted from this idea of obligation to choice. Love was not having to give up parts of ourselves for other people. Love was choosing people to share the best parts of ourselves with. Love was choosing to show up as our true selves every day and to surround ourselves with people with similar values. Sacrifice could be love. But love didn’t have to be sacrifice. Love could be choosing to prioritize ourselves first so that we can be better friends and partners to others. Love could be choosing to communicate when our needs aren’t being met, so that other people have the ___________ to listen and to strengthen that bond. Love could be the little things. like writing a ______ to someone you miss, telling them you’re thinking about them. Or coming home from grocery _____ with someone’s favorite snack, because seeing it ________ you of them. Love could be peeling and cutting up a piece of fruit for someone to snack on. Even if you didn’t just come home from a long day of work. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have literally no _____ that my parents love me to no end. They would give up anything and honestly have to make sure that I have everything that I need in this life. My mom gave up on her dream of becoming a doctor so that now I have the opportunity to be in medical school. How full circle is that? I think my parents sacrifice was their most noble act of love. They took on an impossible task of a ________. But it was just that. A task of a lifetime. I have had the privilege of living a very different life than they have. So it makes sense that how we give and receive love looks so different. But we don’t have to mirror their style of love for it to be just as __________ or passionate or impactful. _______, I'm still ________. Learning about myself, my values, my boundaries, and what love looks like for me. I hope each of you will walk out of here, thinking of how you choose to love aligns with your values. Because love doesn’t have to be what our _______ had or necessarily even what we received growing up. Love is a __________ of who we are today in this moment. And as we inevitably change a nd evolve as people. So while our idea of love. Thank you.

Solution

advice
shoot
people
mental
letter
values
growing
working
responsible
store
identity
appointment
doubt
piece
defined
pieces
support
healthy
parents
sacrifice
sacrificing
opportunity
entire
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kindness
longer
impoverished
shared
reflection
country
therapist
profound
granted
template
feeling
learning
commonly
reminded
potentially
unique
meaningful
school
gymnastics
relationships
preserve
lifetime
family
child
giving

Original Text

Samantha Contreras Martínez, Translator

Hi, everyone. For many of us, good or bad, our parents were our first template of love. I grew up living a unique yet commonly shared experience. That of the child of a first-generation immigrants. My parents emigrated from Vietnam in their twenties, looking for opportunities that they were never afforded growing up in an impoverished country. Like many, they left behind friends and family, career ambitions and an entire life behind them, to come to the US and work entry-level jobs for decades, to support our family. Growing up, I was probably overly aware of the sacrifices that my parents had made for me and my brother. My mom’s absences from our weekends and sporting events were notable, but I knew that she was working so that I could shoot some basketball and practice gymnastics. Poorly. I might add. I didn't realize it, but over time, this was being ingrained into my own concept of love. Love was giving. Love was making sure that other people's needs were met before your own. Love was coming home from a long day of work and using the little bit of energy that you had left to peel and cut up a piece of fruit for your child to snack on while they did their homework. Love was sacrifice. I found myself emulating this idea of love in my own friendships and relationships. Sacrificing parts of myself for other people. I said yes to things that I didn't have time for. I took on other people's problems as my own. I didn’t speak up when things bothered me out of potentially upsetting someone else. I became a people pleaser. You can imagine my disappointment I found myself in relationships where other people weren’t willing to drop everything that they were doing just to make me happy. I thought that love was impossible to find. That nobody cared. Turns out other people just have healthy boundaries. This became especially apparent when I started a new chapter in my life. Medical school In the midst of a pandemic, no less. As many of you may know, medical school is hard. I found myself with less time, less emotional space, and less mental capacity to give. But don’t worry. I still tried. I tried to give and to love and to sacrifice. But instead I found myself feeling drained and exhausted. Sacrifice was all I had ever known. And if I didn’t have the energy to give, I found myself feeling like I didn’t know who I was anymore. Technically, I found myself in my first therapy appointment. Amongst the number of profound pieces of advice that my therapist shared with me, she also shared a unique perspective of identity. That who we are is not defined by what we give to other people. Rather, our identity is defined by our values and how we choose to live in accordance with those values. I didn't value sacrifice, at least not meaningless sacrifice. I valued what that sacrifice stood for: love and connection. I thought about it. I also valued kindness and empathy, gratitude, resiliency, ambition, and family. These are the values that defined me, not sacrifice. I added one more value to that list. Self-preservation. Ironically, I meant doing exactly what other people were already doing. Setting boundaries. That meant giving without giving up things that were important. That meant empathizing with people’s problems without having to try and solve them. That meant being able to say no without carrying the guilt of potentially disappointing someone. And doing these things gave me the space to preserve and love myself first. As I learned more about myself and how I showed up in my own life, my interpersonal relationships started to change. I was no longer responsible for anyone else’s happiness other than my own. And nobody else is responsible for my happiness. And as my relationships changed, so did my idea of love. Love shifted from this idea of obligation to choice. Love was not having to give up parts of ourselves for other people. Love was choosing people to share the best parts of ourselves with. Love was choosing to show up as our true selves every day and to surround ourselves with people with similar values. Sacrifice could be love. But love didn’t have to be sacrifice. Love could be choosing to prioritize ourselves first so that we can be better friends and partners to others. Love could be choosing to communicate when our needs aren’t being met, so that other people have the opportunity to listen and to strengthen that bond. Love could be the little things. like writing a letter to someone you miss, telling them you’re thinking about them. Or coming home from grocery store with someone’s favorite snack, because seeing it reminded you of them. Love could be peeling and cutting up a piece of fruit for someone to snack on. Even if you didn’t just come home from a long day of work. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have literally no doubt that my parents love me to no end. They would give up anything and honestly have to make sure that I have everything that I need in this life. My mom gave up on her dream of becoming a doctor so that now I have the opportunity to be in medical school. How full circle is that? I think my parents sacrifice was their most noble act of love. They took on an impossible task of a lifetime. But it was just that. A task of a lifetime. I have had the privilege of living a very different life than they have. So it makes sense that how we give and receive love looks so different. But we don’t have to mirror their style of love for it to be just as meaningful or passionate or impactful. Granted, I'm still learning. Learning about myself, my values, my boundaries, and what love looks like for me. I hope each of you will walk out of here, thinking of how you choose to love aligns with your values. Because love doesn’t have to be what our parents had or necessarily even what we received growing up. Love is a reflection of who we are today in this moment. And as we inevitably change a nd evolve as people. So while our idea of love. Thank you.

Frequently Occurring Word Combinations

ngrams of length 2

collocation	frequency
medical school	3
coming home	2
long day	2

Important Words

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accordance
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