full transcript

From the Ted Talk by Skye C. Cleary: Why do we love? A philosophical inquiry


Unscramble the Blue Letters


Ah, romantic love - bfueiatul and intoxicating, heartbreaking and soul-crushing, often all at the same time. Why do we choose to put ourselves through its emotional wringer? Does love make our lives meaningful, or is it an escpae from our leslionnes and suffering? Is love a disguise for our sexual desire, or a ticrk of biology to make us procreate? Is it all we need? Do we need it at all? If romantic love has a purpose, neither science nor psychology has discovered it yet. But over the course of history, some of our most respected polipohhsres have put forward some intriguing terhoies. Love makes us whole, again. The ancient Greek philosopher Plato explored the idea that we love in odrer to become complete. In his "Symposium", he wrote about a dinner party, at which astaepihonrs, a coimc playwright, reegals the guests with the following story: humans were once creatures with four arms, four legs, and two faces. One day, they angered the gods, and Zeus scield them all in two. Since then, every person has been missing half of him or herself. Love is the longing to find a soulmate who'll make us feel whole again, or, at least, that's what patlo believed a drunken comedian would say at a party. Love tricks us into having bieabs. Much, much later, German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer maintained that love besad in sexual desire was a voluptuous ilolusin. He sesutgegd that we love because our desires lead us to believe that another person will make us hppay, but we are sorely mistaken. Nature is tricking us into ptrceoanirg, and the loving fusion we seek is consummated in our cdrilhen. When our sexual desires are satisfied, we are thrown back into our tonmrteed existences, and we succeed only in maintaining the species and pnturaepiteg the cycle of hamun drudgery. Sounds like somebody needs a hug. Love is escape from our loneliness. According to the Nobel Prize-winning biritsh philosopher brearntd Russell, we love in order to quench our physical and psychological desires. Humans are designed to procreate, but without the ecstasy of passionate love, sex is unsatisfying. Our fear of the cold, cruel world tempts us to build hard shells to protect and isolate ourselves. Love's dlegiht, intimacy, and warmth hlpes us overcome our fear of the world, escape our lonely shells, and eagnge more abundantly in life. Love enriches our whole being, making it the best thing in life. Love is a misleading altficofin. srdthhdiāa Gautama, who became known as the Buddha, or the eghtnenield One, probably would have had some interesting arguments with Russell. Buddha proposed that we love because we are trying to satisfy our base desires. Yet, our passionate cravings are defects, and attachments, even romantic love, are a great source of suffering. Luckily, Buddha discovered the eight-fold path, a sort of program for extinguishing the fires of desire so that we can raceh Nirvana, an enlightened state of peace, clarity, wisdom, and compassion. The novelist Cao Xueqin iattllerusd this Buddhist sentiment that romantic love is folly in one of China's greatest cssciaall novels, "Dream of the Red Chamber." In a solbupt, Jia Rui falls in love with Xi-feng who tricks and humiliates him. Conflicting emotions of love and hate tear him apart, so a Taoist gives him a mgiac mirror that can cure him as long as he doesn't look at the front of it. But of course, he looks at the front of it. He sees Xi-feng. His soul enters the mrroir and he is dragged away in iron chains to die. Not all Buddhists think this way about romantic and erotic love, but the mroal of this story is that such attachments spell tragedy, and should, along with magic mrrrios, be avoided. Love lets us reach beyond ourselves. Let's end on a slightly more positive note. The French philosopher Simone de Beauvoir proposed that love is the dsiere to integrate with another and that it infuses our lives with miennag. However, she was less concerned with why we love and more ieetrsnted in how we can love better. She saw that the problem with ttraoiiadnl romantic love is it can be so ctapaiivtng, that we are tempted to make it our only reason for being. Yet, dpcnneeede on another to justify our eixctense easily leads to boredom and power games. To avoid this trap, biuoaevr advised loving authentically, which is more like a great friendship. Lovers spporut each other in discovering themselves, reaching beyond themselves, and enriching their lives and the world together. Though we might never know why we fall in love, we can be certain that it will be an emotional rtlrlesacooer ride. It's sacry and exhilarating. It makes us suffer and makes us soar. Maybe we lose ourselves. Maybe we find ourselves. It might be htraiebrneakg, or it might just be the best thing in life. Will you dare to find out?

Open Cloze


Ah, romantic love - _________ and intoxicating, heartbreaking and soul-crushing, often all at the same time. Why do we choose to put ourselves through its emotional wringer? Does love make our lives meaningful, or is it an ______ from our __________ and suffering? Is love a disguise for our sexual desire, or a _____ of biology to make us procreate? Is it all we need? Do we need it at all? If romantic love has a purpose, neither science nor psychology has discovered it yet. But over the course of history, some of our most respected ____________ have put forward some intriguing ________. Love makes us whole, again. The ancient Greek philosopher Plato explored the idea that we love in _____ to become complete. In his "Symposium", he wrote about a dinner party, at which ____________, a _____ playwright, _______ the guests with the following story: humans were once creatures with four arms, four legs, and two faces. One day, they angered the gods, and Zeus ______ them all in two. Since then, every person has been missing half of him or herself. Love is the longing to find a soulmate who'll make us feel whole again, or, at least, that's what _____ believed a drunken comedian would say at a party. Love tricks us into having ______. Much, much later, German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer maintained that love _____ in sexual desire was a voluptuous ________. He _________ that we love because our desires lead us to believe that another person will make us _____, but we are sorely mistaken. Nature is tricking us into ___________, and the loving fusion we seek is consummated in our ________. When our sexual desires are satisfied, we are thrown back into our _________ existences, and we succeed only in maintaining the species and ____________ the cycle of _____ drudgery. Sounds like somebody needs a hug. Love is escape from our loneliness. According to the Nobel Prize-winning _______ philosopher ________ Russell, we love in order to quench our physical and psychological desires. Humans are designed to procreate, but without the ecstasy of passionate love, sex is unsatisfying. Our fear of the cold, cruel world tempts us to build hard shells to protect and isolate ourselves. Love's _______, intimacy, and warmth _____ us overcome our fear of the world, escape our lonely shells, and ______ more abundantly in life. Love enriches our whole being, making it the best thing in life. Love is a misleading __________. __________ Gautama, who became known as the Buddha, or the ___________ One, probably would have had some interesting arguments with Russell. Buddha proposed that we love because we are trying to satisfy our base desires. Yet, our passionate cravings are defects, and attachments, even romantic love, are a great source of suffering. Luckily, Buddha discovered the eight-fold path, a sort of program for extinguishing the fires of desire so that we can _____ Nirvana, an enlightened state of peace, clarity, wisdom, and compassion. The novelist Cao Xueqin ___________ this Buddhist sentiment that romantic love is folly in one of China's greatest _________ novels, "Dream of the Red Chamber." In a _______, Jia Rui falls in love with Xi-feng who tricks and humiliates him. Conflicting emotions of love and hate tear him apart, so a Taoist gives him a _____ mirror that can cure him as long as he doesn't look at the front of it. But of course, he looks at the front of it. He sees Xi-feng. His soul enters the ______ and he is dragged away in iron chains to die. Not all Buddhists think this way about romantic and erotic love, but the _____ of this story is that such attachments spell tragedy, and should, along with magic _______, be avoided. Love lets us reach beyond ourselves. Let's end on a slightly more positive note. The French philosopher Simone de Beauvoir proposed that love is the ______ to integrate with another and that it infuses our lives with _______. However, she was less concerned with why we love and more __________ in how we can love better. She saw that the problem with ___________ romantic love is it can be so ___________, that we are tempted to make it our only reason for being. Yet, __________ on another to justify our _________ easily leads to boredom and power games. To avoid this trap, ________ advised loving authentically, which is more like a great friendship. Lovers _______ each other in discovering themselves, reaching beyond themselves, and enriching their lives and the world together. Though we might never know why we fall in love, we can be certain that it will be an emotional _____________ ride. It's _____ and exhilarating. It makes us suffer and makes us soar. Maybe we lose ourselves. Maybe we find ourselves. It might be _____________, or it might just be the best thing in life. Will you dare to find out?

Solution


  1. enlightened
  2. beauvoir
  3. children
  4. traditional
  5. support
  6. escape
  7. regales
  8. tormented
  9. illusion
  10. aristophanes
  11. plato
  12. sliced
  13. illustrated
  14. order
  15. magic
  16. mirror
  17. engage
  18. loneliness
  19. interested
  20. classical
  21. scary
  22. affliction
  23. rollercoaster
  24. british
  25. bertrand
  26. perpetuating
  27. suggested
  28. human
  29. desire
  30. procreating
  31. dependence
  32. heartbreaking
  33. captivating
  34. reach
  35. philosophers
  36. siddhārtha
  37. helps
  38. moral
  39. beautiful
  40. meaning
  41. delight
  42. theories
  43. based
  44. comic
  45. existence
  46. happy
  47. mirrors
  48. trick
  49. babies
  50. subplot

Original Text


Ah, romantic love - beautiful and intoxicating, heartbreaking and soul-crushing, often all at the same time. Why do we choose to put ourselves through its emotional wringer? Does love make our lives meaningful, or is it an escape from our loneliness and suffering? Is love a disguise for our sexual desire, or a trick of biology to make us procreate? Is it all we need? Do we need it at all? If romantic love has a purpose, neither science nor psychology has discovered it yet. But over the course of history, some of our most respected philosophers have put forward some intriguing theories. Love makes us whole, again. The ancient Greek philosopher Plato explored the idea that we love in order to become complete. In his "Symposium", he wrote about a dinner party, at which Aristophanes, a comic playwright, regales the guests with the following story: humans were once creatures with four arms, four legs, and two faces. One day, they angered the gods, and Zeus sliced them all in two. Since then, every person has been missing half of him or herself. Love is the longing to find a soulmate who'll make us feel whole again, or, at least, that's what Plato believed a drunken comedian would say at a party. Love tricks us into having babies. Much, much later, German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer maintained that love based in sexual desire was a voluptuous illusion. He suggested that we love because our desires lead us to believe that another person will make us happy, but we are sorely mistaken. Nature is tricking us into procreating, and the loving fusion we seek is consummated in our children. When our sexual desires are satisfied, we are thrown back into our tormented existences, and we succeed only in maintaining the species and perpetuating the cycle of human drudgery. Sounds like somebody needs a hug. Love is escape from our loneliness. According to the Nobel Prize-winning British philosopher Bertrand Russell, we love in order to quench our physical and psychological desires. Humans are designed to procreate, but without the ecstasy of passionate love, sex is unsatisfying. Our fear of the cold, cruel world tempts us to build hard shells to protect and isolate ourselves. Love's delight, intimacy, and warmth helps us overcome our fear of the world, escape our lonely shells, and engage more abundantly in life. Love enriches our whole being, making it the best thing in life. Love is a misleading affliction. Siddhārtha Gautama, who became known as the Buddha, or the Enlightened One, probably would have had some interesting arguments with Russell. Buddha proposed that we love because we are trying to satisfy our base desires. Yet, our passionate cravings are defects, and attachments, even romantic love, are a great source of suffering. Luckily, Buddha discovered the eight-fold path, a sort of program for extinguishing the fires of desire so that we can reach Nirvana, an enlightened state of peace, clarity, wisdom, and compassion. The novelist Cao Xueqin illustrated this Buddhist sentiment that romantic love is folly in one of China's greatest classical novels, "Dream of the Red Chamber." In a subplot, Jia Rui falls in love with Xi-feng who tricks and humiliates him. Conflicting emotions of love and hate tear him apart, so a Taoist gives him a magic mirror that can cure him as long as he doesn't look at the front of it. But of course, he looks at the front of it. He sees Xi-feng. His soul enters the mirror and he is dragged away in iron chains to die. Not all Buddhists think this way about romantic and erotic love, but the moral of this story is that such attachments spell tragedy, and should, along with magic mirrors, be avoided. Love lets us reach beyond ourselves. Let's end on a slightly more positive note. The French philosopher Simone de Beauvoir proposed that love is the desire to integrate with another and that it infuses our lives with meaning. However, she was less concerned with why we love and more interested in how we can love better. She saw that the problem with traditional romantic love is it can be so captivating, that we are tempted to make it our only reason for being. Yet, dependence on another to justify our existence easily leads to boredom and power games. To avoid this trap, Beauvoir advised loving authentically, which is more like a great friendship. Lovers support each other in discovering themselves, reaching beyond themselves, and enriching their lives and the world together. Though we might never know why we fall in love, we can be certain that it will be an emotional rollercoaster ride. It's scary and exhilarating. It makes us suffer and makes us soar. Maybe we lose ourselves. Maybe we find ourselves. It might be heartbreaking, or it might just be the best thing in life. Will you dare to find out?

Frequently Occurring Word Combinations


ngrams of length 2

collocation frequency
romantic love 4
life love 2



Important Words


  1. abundantly
  2. advised
  3. affliction
  4. ah
  5. ancient
  6. angered
  7. arguments
  8. aristophanes
  9. arms
  10. arthur
  11. attachments
  12. authentically
  13. avoid
  14. avoided
  15. babies
  16. base
  17. based
  18. beautiful
  19. beauvoir
  20. believed
  21. bertrand
  22. biology
  23. boredom
  24. british
  25. buddha
  26. buddhist
  27. buddhists
  28. build
  29. cao
  30. captivating
  31. chains
  32. chamber
  33. children
  34. choose
  35. clarity
  36. classical
  37. cold
  38. comedian
  39. comic
  40. compassion
  41. complete
  42. concerned
  43. conflicting
  44. consummated
  45. cravings
  46. creatures
  47. cruel
  48. cure
  49. cycle
  50. day
  51. de
  52. defects
  53. delight
  54. dependence
  55. designed
  56. desire
  57. desires
  58. die
  59. dinner
  60. discovered
  61. discovering
  62. disguise
  63. dragged
  64. drudgery
  65. drunken
  66. easily
  67. ecstasy
  68. emotional
  69. emotions
  70. engage
  71. enlightened
  72. enriches
  73. enriching
  74. enters
  75. erotic
  76. escape
  77. exhilarating
  78. existence
  79. existences
  80. explored
  81. extinguishing
  82. faces
  83. fall
  84. falls
  85. fear
  86. feel
  87. find
  88. fires
  89. folly
  90. french
  91. friendship
  92. front
  93. fusion
  94. games
  95. gautama
  96. german
  97. gods
  98. great
  99. greatest
  100. greek
  101. guests
  102. happy
  103. hard
  104. hate
  105. heartbreaking
  106. helps
  107. history
  108. hug
  109. human
  110. humans
  111. humiliates
  112. idea
  113. illusion
  114. illustrated
  115. infuses
  116. integrate
  117. interested
  118. interesting
  119. intimacy
  120. intoxicating
  121. intriguing
  122. iron
  123. isolate
  124. jia
  125. justify
  126. lead
  127. leads
  128. legs
  129. lets
  130. life
  131. lives
  132. loneliness
  133. lonely
  134. long
  135. longing
  136. lose
  137. love
  138. lovers
  139. loving
  140. luckily
  141. magic
  142. maintained
  143. maintaining
  144. making
  145. meaning
  146. meaningful
  147. mirror
  148. mirrors
  149. misleading
  150. missing
  151. mistaken
  152. moral
  153. nature
  154. nirvana
  155. nobel
  156. note
  157. novelist
  158. novels
  159. order
  160. overcome
  161. party
  162. passionate
  163. path
  164. peace
  165. perpetuating
  166. person
  167. philosopher
  168. philosophers
  169. physical
  170. plato
  171. playwright
  172. positive
  173. power
  174. problem
  175. procreate
  176. procreating
  177. program
  178. proposed
  179. protect
  180. psychological
  181. psychology
  182. purpose
  183. put
  184. quench
  185. reach
  186. reaching
  187. reason
  188. red
  189. regales
  190. respected
  191. ride
  192. rollercoaster
  193. romantic
  194. rui
  195. russell
  196. satisfied
  197. satisfy
  198. scary
  199. schopenhauer
  200. science
  201. seek
  202. sees
  203. sentiment
  204. sex
  205. sexual
  206. shells
  207. siddhārtha
  208. simone
  209. sliced
  210. slightly
  211. soar
  212. sorely
  213. sort
  214. soul
  215. soulmate
  216. sounds
  217. source
  218. species
  219. spell
  220. state
  221. story
  222. subplot
  223. succeed
  224. suffer
  225. suffering
  226. suggested
  227. support
  228. taoist
  229. tear
  230. tempted
  231. tempts
  232. theories
  233. thrown
  234. time
  235. tormented
  236. traditional
  237. tragedy
  238. trap
  239. trick
  240. tricking
  241. tricks
  242. unsatisfying
  243. voluptuous
  244. warmth
  245. wisdom
  246. world
  247. wringer
  248. wrote
  249. xueqin
  250. zeus