full transcript
From the Ted Talk by Skye C. Cleary: Why do we love? A philosophical inquiry
Unscramble the Blue Letters
Ah, romantic love - bfueiatul and intoxicating, heartbreaking and soul-crushing, often all at the same time. Why do we choose to put ourselves through its emotional wringer? Does love make our lives meaningful, or is it an escpae from our leslionnes and suffering? Is love a disguise for our sexual desire, or a ticrk of biology to make us procreate? Is it all we need? Do we need it at all? If romantic love has a purpose, neither science nor psychology has discovered it yet. But over the course of history, some of our most respected polipohhsres have put forward some intriguing terhoies. Love makes us whole, again. The ancient Greek philosopher Plato explored the idea that we love in odrer to become complete. In his "Symposium", he wrote about a dinner party, at which astaepihonrs, a coimc playwright, reegals the guests with the following story: humans were once creatures with four arms, four legs, and two faces. One day, they angered the gods, and Zeus scield them all in two. Since then, every person has been missing half of him or herself. Love is the longing to find a soulmate who'll make us feel whole again, or, at least, that's what patlo believed a drunken comedian would say at a party. Love tricks us into having bieabs. Much, much later, German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer maintained that love besad in sexual desire was a voluptuous ilolusin. He sesutgegd that we love because our desires lead us to believe that another person will make us hppay, but we are sorely mistaken. Nature is tricking us into ptrceoanirg, and the loving fusion we seek is consummated in our cdrilhen. When our sexual desires are satisfied, we are thrown back into our tonmrteed existences, and we succeed only in maintaining the species and pnturaepiteg the cycle of hamun drudgery. Sounds like somebody needs a hug. Love is escape from our loneliness. According to the Nobel Prize-winning biritsh philosopher brearntd Russell, we love in order to quench our physical and psychological desires. Humans are designed to procreate, but without the ecstasy of passionate love, sex is unsatisfying. Our fear of the cold, cruel world tempts us to build hard shells to protect and isolate ourselves. Love's dlegiht, intimacy, and warmth hlpes us overcome our fear of the world, escape our lonely shells, and eagnge more abundantly in life. Love enriches our whole being, making it the best thing in life. Love is a misleading altficofin. srdthhdiāa Gautama, who became known as the Buddha, or the eghtnenield One, probably would have had some interesting arguments with Russell. Buddha proposed that we love because we are trying to satisfy our base desires. Yet, our passionate cravings are defects, and attachments, even romantic love, are a great source of suffering. Luckily, Buddha discovered the eight-fold path, a sort of program for extinguishing the fires of desire so that we can raceh Nirvana, an enlightened state of peace, clarity, wisdom, and compassion. The novelist Cao Xueqin iattllerusd this Buddhist sentiment that romantic love is folly in one of China's greatest cssciaall novels, "Dream of the Red Chamber." In a solbupt, Jia Rui falls in love with Xi-feng who tricks and humiliates him. Conflicting emotions of love and hate tear him apart, so a Taoist gives him a mgiac mirror that can cure him as long as he doesn't look at the front of it. But of course, he looks at the front of it. He sees Xi-feng. His soul enters the mrroir and he is dragged away in iron chains to die. Not all Buddhists think this way about romantic and erotic love, but the mroal of this story is that such attachments spell tragedy, and should, along with magic mrrrios, be avoided. Love lets us reach beyond ourselves. Let's end on a slightly more positive note. The French philosopher Simone de Beauvoir proposed that love is the dsiere to integrate with another and that it infuses our lives with miennag. However, she was less concerned with why we love and more ieetrsnted in how we can love better. She saw that the problem with ttraoiiadnl romantic love is it can be so ctapaiivtng, that we are tempted to make it our only reason for being. Yet, dpcnneeede on another to justify our eixctense easily leads to boredom and power games. To avoid this trap, biuoaevr advised loving authentically, which is more like a great friendship. Lovers spporut each other in discovering themselves, reaching beyond themselves, and enriching their lives and the world together. Though we might never know why we fall in love, we can be certain that it will be an emotional rtlrlesacooer ride. It's sacry and exhilarating. It makes us suffer and makes us soar. Maybe we lose ourselves. Maybe we find ourselves. It might be htraiebrneakg, or it might just be the best thing in life. Will you dare to find out?
Open Cloze
Ah, romantic love - _________ and intoxicating, heartbreaking and soul-crushing, often all at the same time. Why do we choose to put ourselves through its emotional wringer? Does love make our lives meaningful, or is it an ______ from our __________ and suffering? Is love a disguise for our sexual desire, or a _____ of biology to make us procreate? Is it all we need? Do we need it at all? If romantic love has a purpose, neither science nor psychology has discovered it yet. But over the course of history, some of our most respected ____________ have put forward some intriguing ________. Love makes us whole, again. The ancient Greek philosopher Plato explored the idea that we love in _____ to become complete. In his "Symposium", he wrote about a dinner party, at which ____________, a _____ playwright, _______ the guests with the following story: humans were once creatures with four arms, four legs, and two faces. One day, they angered the gods, and Zeus ______ them all in two. Since then, every person has been missing half of him or herself. Love is the longing to find a soulmate who'll make us feel whole again, or, at least, that's what _____ believed a drunken comedian would say at a party. Love tricks us into having ______. Much, much later, German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer maintained that love _____ in sexual desire was a voluptuous ________. He _________ that we love because our desires lead us to believe that another person will make us _____, but we are sorely mistaken. Nature is tricking us into ___________, and the loving fusion we seek is consummated in our ________. When our sexual desires are satisfied, we are thrown back into our _________ existences, and we succeed only in maintaining the species and ____________ the cycle of _____ drudgery. Sounds like somebody needs a hug. Love is escape from our loneliness. According to the Nobel Prize-winning _______ philosopher ________ Russell, we love in order to quench our physical and psychological desires. Humans are designed to procreate, but without the ecstasy of passionate love, sex is unsatisfying. Our fear of the cold, cruel world tempts us to build hard shells to protect and isolate ourselves. Love's _______, intimacy, and warmth _____ us overcome our fear of the world, escape our lonely shells, and ______ more abundantly in life. Love enriches our whole being, making it the best thing in life. Love is a misleading __________. __________ Gautama, who became known as the Buddha, or the ___________ One, probably would have had some interesting arguments with Russell. Buddha proposed that we love because we are trying to satisfy our base desires. Yet, our passionate cravings are defects, and attachments, even romantic love, are a great source of suffering. Luckily, Buddha discovered the eight-fold path, a sort of program for extinguishing the fires of desire so that we can _____ Nirvana, an enlightened state of peace, clarity, wisdom, and compassion. The novelist Cao Xueqin ___________ this Buddhist sentiment that romantic love is folly in one of China's greatest _________ novels, "Dream of the Red Chamber." In a _______, Jia Rui falls in love with Xi-feng who tricks and humiliates him. Conflicting emotions of love and hate tear him apart, so a Taoist gives him a _____ mirror that can cure him as long as he doesn't look at the front of it. But of course, he looks at the front of it. He sees Xi-feng. His soul enters the ______ and he is dragged away in iron chains to die. Not all Buddhists think this way about romantic and erotic love, but the _____ of this story is that such attachments spell tragedy, and should, along with magic _______, be avoided. Love lets us reach beyond ourselves. Let's end on a slightly more positive note. The French philosopher Simone de Beauvoir proposed that love is the ______ to integrate with another and that it infuses our lives with _______. However, she was less concerned with why we love and more __________ in how we can love better. She saw that the problem with ___________ romantic love is it can be so ___________, that we are tempted to make it our only reason for being. Yet, __________ on another to justify our _________ easily leads to boredom and power games. To avoid this trap, ________ advised loving authentically, which is more like a great friendship. Lovers _______ each other in discovering themselves, reaching beyond themselves, and enriching their lives and the world together. Though we might never know why we fall in love, we can be certain that it will be an emotional _____________ ride. It's _____ and exhilarating. It makes us suffer and makes us soar. Maybe we lose ourselves. Maybe we find ourselves. It might be _____________, or it might just be the best thing in life. Will you dare to find out?
Solution
- enlightened
- beauvoir
- children
- traditional
- support
- escape
- regales
- tormented
- illusion
- aristophanes
- plato
- sliced
- illustrated
- order
- magic
- mirror
- engage
- loneliness
- interested
- classical
- scary
- affliction
- rollercoaster
- british
- bertrand
- perpetuating
- suggested
- human
- desire
- procreating
- dependence
- heartbreaking
- captivating
- reach
- philosophers
- siddhārtha
- helps
- moral
- beautiful
- meaning
- delight
- theories
- based
- comic
- existence
- happy
- mirrors
- trick
- babies
- subplot
Original Text
Ah, romantic love - beautiful and intoxicating, heartbreaking and soul-crushing, often all at the same time. Why do we choose to put ourselves through its emotional wringer? Does love make our lives meaningful, or is it an escape from our loneliness and suffering? Is love a disguise for our sexual desire, or a trick of biology to make us procreate? Is it all we need? Do we need it at all? If romantic love has a purpose, neither science nor psychology has discovered it yet. But over the course of history, some of our most respected philosophers have put forward some intriguing theories. Love makes us whole, again. The ancient Greek philosopher Plato explored the idea that we love in order to become complete. In his "Symposium", he wrote about a dinner party, at which Aristophanes, a comic playwright, regales the guests with the following story: humans were once creatures with four arms, four legs, and two faces. One day, they angered the gods, and Zeus sliced them all in two. Since then, every person has been missing half of him or herself. Love is the longing to find a soulmate who'll make us feel whole again, or, at least, that's what Plato believed a drunken comedian would say at a party. Love tricks us into having babies. Much, much later, German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer maintained that love based in sexual desire was a voluptuous illusion. He suggested that we love because our desires lead us to believe that another person will make us happy, but we are sorely mistaken. Nature is tricking us into procreating, and the loving fusion we seek is consummated in our children. When our sexual desires are satisfied, we are thrown back into our tormented existences, and we succeed only in maintaining the species and perpetuating the cycle of human drudgery. Sounds like somebody needs a hug. Love is escape from our loneliness. According to the Nobel Prize-winning British philosopher Bertrand Russell, we love in order to quench our physical and psychological desires. Humans are designed to procreate, but without the ecstasy of passionate love, sex is unsatisfying. Our fear of the cold, cruel world tempts us to build hard shells to protect and isolate ourselves. Love's delight, intimacy, and warmth helps us overcome our fear of the world, escape our lonely shells, and engage more abundantly in life. Love enriches our whole being, making it the best thing in life. Love is a misleading affliction. Siddhārtha Gautama, who became known as the Buddha, or the Enlightened One, probably would have had some interesting arguments with Russell. Buddha proposed that we love because we are trying to satisfy our base desires. Yet, our passionate cravings are defects, and attachments, even romantic love, are a great source of suffering. Luckily, Buddha discovered the eight-fold path, a sort of program for extinguishing the fires of desire so that we can reach Nirvana, an enlightened state of peace, clarity, wisdom, and compassion. The novelist Cao Xueqin illustrated this Buddhist sentiment that romantic love is folly in one of China's greatest classical novels, "Dream of the Red Chamber." In a subplot, Jia Rui falls in love with Xi-feng who tricks and humiliates him. Conflicting emotions of love and hate tear him apart, so a Taoist gives him a magic mirror that can cure him as long as he doesn't look at the front of it. But of course, he looks at the front of it. He sees Xi-feng. His soul enters the mirror and he is dragged away in iron chains to die. Not all Buddhists think this way about romantic and erotic love, but the moral of this story is that such attachments spell tragedy, and should, along with magic mirrors, be avoided. Love lets us reach beyond ourselves. Let's end on a slightly more positive note. The French philosopher Simone de Beauvoir proposed that love is the desire to integrate with another and that it infuses our lives with meaning. However, she was less concerned with why we love and more interested in how we can love better. She saw that the problem with traditional romantic love is it can be so captivating, that we are tempted to make it our only reason for being. Yet, dependence on another to justify our existence easily leads to boredom and power games. To avoid this trap, Beauvoir advised loving authentically, which is more like a great friendship. Lovers support each other in discovering themselves, reaching beyond themselves, and enriching their lives and the world together. Though we might never know why we fall in love, we can be certain that it will be an emotional rollercoaster ride. It's scary and exhilarating. It makes us suffer and makes us soar. Maybe we lose ourselves. Maybe we find ourselves. It might be heartbreaking, or it might just be the best thing in life. Will you dare to find out?
Frequently Occurring Word Combinations
ngrams of length 2
collocation |
frequency |
romantic love |
4 |
life love |
2 |
Important Words
- abundantly
- advised
- affliction
- ah
- ancient
- angered
- arguments
- aristophanes
- arms
- arthur
- attachments
- authentically
- avoid
- avoided
- babies
- base
- based
- beautiful
- beauvoir
- believed
- bertrand
- biology
- boredom
- british
- buddha
- buddhist
- buddhists
- build
- cao
- captivating
- chains
- chamber
- children
- choose
- clarity
- classical
- cold
- comedian
- comic
- compassion
- complete
- concerned
- conflicting
- consummated
- cravings
- creatures
- cruel
- cure
- cycle
- day
- de
- defects
- delight
- dependence
- designed
- desire
- desires
- die
- dinner
- discovered
- discovering
- disguise
- dragged
- drudgery
- drunken
- easily
- ecstasy
- emotional
- emotions
- engage
- enlightened
- enriches
- enriching
- enters
- erotic
- escape
- exhilarating
- existence
- existences
- explored
- extinguishing
- faces
- fall
- falls
- fear
- feel
- find
- fires
- folly
- french
- friendship
- front
- fusion
- games
- gautama
- german
- gods
- great
- greatest
- greek
- guests
- happy
- hard
- hate
- heartbreaking
- helps
- history
- hug
- human
- humans
- humiliates
- idea
- illusion
- illustrated
- infuses
- integrate
- interested
- interesting
- intimacy
- intoxicating
- intriguing
- iron
- isolate
- jia
- justify
- lead
- leads
- legs
- lets
- life
- lives
- loneliness
- lonely
- long
- longing
- lose
- love
- lovers
- loving
- luckily
- magic
- maintained
- maintaining
- making
- meaning
- meaningful
- mirror
- mirrors
- misleading
- missing
- mistaken
- moral
- nature
- nirvana
- nobel
- note
- novelist
- novels
- order
- overcome
- party
- passionate
- path
- peace
- perpetuating
- person
- philosopher
- philosophers
- physical
- plato
- playwright
- positive
- power
- problem
- procreate
- procreating
- program
- proposed
- protect
- psychological
- psychology
- purpose
- put
- quench
- reach
- reaching
- reason
- red
- regales
- respected
- ride
- rollercoaster
- romantic
- rui
- russell
- satisfied
- satisfy
- scary
- schopenhauer
- science
- seek
- sees
- sentiment
- sex
- sexual
- shells
- siddhārtha
- simone
- sliced
- slightly
- soar
- sorely
- sort
- soul
- soulmate
- sounds
- source
- species
- spell
- state
- story
- subplot
- succeed
- suffer
- suffering
- suggested
- support
- taoist
- tear
- tempted
- tempts
- theories
- thrown
- time
- tormented
- traditional
- tragedy
- trap
- trick
- tricking
- tricks
- unsatisfying
- voluptuous
- warmth
- wisdom
- world
- wringer
- wrote
- xueqin
- zeus